A Review of Looper and the Conclusion that Hollywood Sucks Bum.

Disclaimer: “Rant:  To speak or write in an angry or violent manner.” Contains Spoilers.

Three things I knew yesterday:

1. Looper is an awesome film.
2. People download films.
3. I want to work in the film industries.

Three things I know today:

1. Looper is actually not that great.
2. People download films because there’s little worth paying good money for.
3. I really want to work in the film industries and make them better.

Let me tell you how I reached these conclusions.

Yesterday I went to see Looper at my local Odeon. I’d heard great things (“It’s this generation’s The Matrix” blah blah), I was excited and ready to be blown away. Instead, I found myself seriously bored halfway through, and because I’m an obnoxious little know-it-all, I began analysing why I had reached such a state of non-interest.

Firstly, the protagonist is a husk of a human being and, apart from the ridiculous amount of eyebrow pencil he’s been forced to wear, I do not feel for any sympathy for him. Secondly, the villains are obviously terrible at being criminals and I do not feel threatened by their ineptitude. Thirdly, since we got to horribly-thin Emily Blunt’s farm the plot has looped in a whole other direction (see what I did there?).

My main problem with the film is the telekinesis. It’s casually introduced early in the film (“oh by the way, we can float coins now”) and you’re so unimpressed that you don’t think it’s going to be particularly relevant. Until HELLO strange demonic child who can flip cars with his mind? I thought this film was about time travel?!! But this kid will grow up to be the bad guy from the future? So now Joseph Gordon-Levitt has a really distracting nose and Bruce Willis is murdering kids for his mail-order Asian bride? That’s ridiculous!

Until finally we reach the end – oh my god, he has to kill himself to save the world? ONE: how fucking original. TWO: that would never happen because Joe is a selfish, greedy, drug addict who’s spent the whole film trying to save his sorry excuse for a life. There’s no way in hell he’d sacrifice himself.

I’m being quite harsh. I did enjoy the film’s production design. The special effects were swell and I thought the acting was actually very good (especially the terrifying child).

But the story felt like the kind of script idea you come up with when you’re high and/or drunk: “So it’s like set in the future, and they can time travel, but it’s totally illegal. And he’s so totally addicted to this new drug that they drip in through their eyeballs. Just so cool. But his future self comes back in time, and he’s gotta catch him before the bad guys kill him. And… and people are telekinetic! Oh my god YES! And this kid, he can, like, kill people just by looking at them! And the guy, the only way he can save everybody is if he shoots himself and it’s like so heroic, and so that ends the cycle so the kid doesn’t grow up to be evil in the future! Duuuuude.”

If we agree that the plot wasn’t all that grand, why has this film received so much hype and media attention?

Could it be because this is the first non-remake, non-prequel, non-sequel, non kids/animated, original film to come out of Hollywood in a LONG time. People aren’t used to having something completely new offered to them. Naturally, we all peed our pants a little (me, equally guilty).

I haven’t done any research, or put that much thought into this, but doesn’t it seem logical that if Hollywood actually made some new and decent films, people would actually go out to the cinema to see them? Who’s going to spend £8 on a ticket to see a remake they know won’t be as good as the original? Or to see a forced, un-exciting sequel of a film? Only the people too moral/scared/computer-illiterate to download. Much better to find a good torrent or to wait for the DVD to drop down from £15 to £3.

When will Hollywood understand that yes, remaking Back to the Future, or another Pirates of the Caribbean film, is a safe bet, but riskier, more exciting, original films will pay off in the long run?

Jaws, Alien, Avatar, Inception, Titanic…. all great original films (ignoring any subsequent sequels) – we need new filmmakers with fresh ideas who can erase the predictability from blockbusters and give birth to a new Hollywood.

Now for the corny ending: I want to be there in the middle of it all when the film industry reaches its next golden era. Awwwwww so inspiring/Please excuse me while I vomit on my shoes.

Rant over for now. I’m deeply sorry if you actually read to the end of this post  – don’t you have better things to do, like writing the next Titanic? Geez.

A xx

I AM INTERN

Two years ago I read this book: The Hollywood Assistant’s Handbook (definitely recommend you do the same btw).

It was inspiring and funny and informative – everything you want as a production noob stranded at a dead-end job in their gap year. Then last month I found it again in P’s bedroom. Like an old friend, I took it to bed and laughed at the good memories. The knickers interview story, the mythical Aeron Chair, the accounts of great success and even greater failure. Awh, I was so deluded and innocent, I had literally no idea what awaited me in the production world until I read this book! Frankly, it scared me.

Suddenly, I was staring at a picture of the Aeron Chair and my heart began to thump. No, chairs do not usually turn me on. But this Aeron – its prowess at back support and posture correctness is famed throughout Hollywood – I had seen that chair very recently, in the plastic flesh.

I had sat on an Aeron Chair every day at my new job for the past 2 months!!!!!!!!!!!

Now my excitement may seem very strange to you all. But imagine being young and hopeful that one day you would be part of the shiny film industry where everyone sits on an Aeron. That day had come, and I hadn’t even realised.

As I read on, I became more and more elated. I could now relate to all the stories of brilliant and crazy execs, the heart-racing mistakes, the bizzare requests, the endless coffee runs, the importance of the call sheet… I was an Intern, just like those brave pioneers before me.

Reading that book again made me realise how far I’ve come in the last 2 years. I started at a local video editing company, and now I work in the office of a major film and TV producer. Two years ago, if you’d told me that, I’d have weed my pants and told you very politely to shut up.

Makes me very excited for the next two years and whatever the hell that’ll bring…! So I guess my final, corny message is this: don’t give up, keep those dreams alive and start saving for an Aeron Chair!

Love ‘A’ xxx

Slutty brownies for winter eves

So I took some inspiration from a blog recipe over the weekend and created this monster of Chocolate loving –

Better known as ‘Slutty Brownies’. Or YUMMY!

Basically, 1) Get some instant Chocolate Chip Cookie mix. Spread on an oven tray. 2) Oreos (whole ones, nothing broken) on top. 3) Add some Instant Brownie Mix and pour over the lot.

The halfway mark, Choccie Chips and Oreos.

Yes, for the record. It was amazing. Perfect for that weekend when you just want to have something warm and comforting.

Curtsey of ‘The Londoner Blog’.

xxoo

‘P’

Career ladders, film school, friends with benefits, and other things…

I’m in love with Mila Kunis (yes, Friends with benefits was playing on the laptop while I was making dinner ok). Just a little bit. Fast talking, sassy, gorgeous, head strong and most importantly a great career woman (stubborn that lady). Oh and bad ass. Obviously. Honestly, here’s a hot woman with substance and charisma, I’m hooked. Not that the boy needs to know that, but still. Her and Lauren Graham (Lorelai Gilmore – Gilmore Girls, WB & currently starring in ‘Parenthood’ as a single mom/budding playwright). Their humour, sass, and determination is part of what inspires me about women in our industry. The big M of edia. Film. Whatchamacallit…

At the moment I’m in that place in my career where I’ve worked my ass off to get to this stage. It’s like a cliff. Many more are up there before the top comes into view, but I can see quite a few beneath me too so I’m feeling good about it. Progress. Whoop. To be honest though two other things have come up along with it. Worry that I’m not doing enough, and of how to get to the next level/what the next level is in my current job. And that ticking sound women usual associate with babies. (I know. Intimacy/future commitment issues. Don’t get me wrong, I won’t babies, but… Well… clearly a discussion for another time). For me it seems to record time left until I need to give up on that Emmy dream (the dress has been spotted, so at least we’ve got one thing sorted).

Seriously though. I’ve not even hit my mid twenties yet. I should be relaxing. Everyone says so. But then I look around. Yes my career has done well so far, yes I’ve finally landed on comfortable money and good prospects (as long as I don’t fuck up… must stay on path!). All in all life is good. But that’s just it. It’s good but not there. I’m so far away from working with drama I can’t even see it (apart from occasional studio visits to pick up kit for live sports). Again. Live Sports. Who would have thought!

Don’t get me wrong, I love every moment of it and am soaking in the lessons on media distribution, business plans, live producing, wining and dining (and oh boy do they do a lot of big contract works that way!!). But am worrying. Where’s my portfolio. Where’s my creative touch… Is this the business of films equivalent to PA-3rd-2nd-1st? Still… There’s love for it.

So what’s a girl to do? Scour the google-net for evening producing courses and plan summer options. And offer to produce/terrorise with deadlines ‘A’s next film venture. Yes… Well, we’re young, stubborn, funny, and determined. (and gorgeous). So why not. Mila and Lauren did it. It may take a while, it always does, but damn it… I’m holding onto that goal until the ticking is so loud it makes the house move. Damn it.

xo xo

‘P’

Excited about films for all the wrong reasons? Guilty.

THIS FILM LOOKS AMAZING!

I cannot wait to see this and I don’t even particularly like Spiderman. I just have the world’s Biggest crush on Andy Garfield. He. Is. Yummy.

Sorry… Back to serious posts now 😉

Love ‘A’

“Let me know when your personal life is falling apart: that means it’s time for a pay rise.” The Devil Wears Prada

Moving on, moving up… The progression-line. The scary yet coveted future that makes that beaming light (Oscar/Emmy/Gold *cough*) at the end of the tunnel a bit more realistic and vivid. The promotion.

 

We all work towards our own little goals, and we all struggle to get there. Sometimes some of us reach a place where we’re quite content with life and our career, and we wouldn’t mind staying. Other times we get a taste of even more things worth pushing those long hours and feel inspiration seem through anew.

Personally, I’ve never been scared of responsibility. People seem to sense it and somehow just throw things my way, from admin to company records or scripting or floor managing. But there are moments when it’s daunting.

Like when your local starts telling you to steer clear from certain areas of work because sensitive feet rest there. Or you’re asked to help hire not just the crew for the important tasks, but people to support you. Daily.

Bloody hell…

That’s when it gets scary, because suddenly you’ve gone from being in charge of middle aged men and women who know everything about their camera lenses, or directing preferences, or sound systems… To managing a future you. Which… Hang on, you’re not even quite you yet. And you know what, it’s exciting!!

Bloody… well (Pardon my repeated french, have been watching Buffy re-runs featuring Spike…).

Basically, we’re all in this industry because we have dreams and goals and passions and we love what we do. Some of us are driven by the end result, some by the stories we can tell (real or fictional), some by the magic we use to tell them, and yet others by the figures following the $ sign after the product is launched. Ah ye faithful audiences, be it at your TVs or the cinema or Netflix. Ah…

Anyway, am drifting from the point. The thing is the whole idea of moving closer to your future, your goal, is extremely exciting and it provides a renewed challenge to keep you entertained, but it’s also daunting. Can you meet all the necessary points in the updated contract? Can you charm up those figures? Can you tutor someone and manage twenty new things at once, some of which you’ve never done before (as per usual)? The answer is yes, you will. And you’ll freak out quite constantly, just like before (just with more responsibility and higher fall…).

And funnily enough, it’s true what they say… Just when your personal life is falling apart, or you’re so wary of the present circumstances you’re considering drastic measures for new challenges or just general change… well… It means it’s time for a pay rise ;).

 

xoxo

 

‘P’